Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

There are spoilers in here, you’ve been warned. I have not read a single review, these are my opinions after seeing the movie just now.

  • Every underground chamber is well lit, even at night.
  • A torch is always available, as well.
  • Scary looking natives have nothing better to do than hide in chamber walls waiting for intruders.
  • Unlimited numbers of bad guys can never shoot Indiana Jones, regardless of how many machine guns they wield.
  • Every other scene must show IJ casting the classic hat shadow.
  • He finds artifacts nobody else could find for hundreds of years just by blowing away some webs and pushing on some key rocks.
  • The bad guys always have operatives in far away places, always able to locate him. (They are geniuses when it comes to following and tracking Dr. Jones, but apparently complete morons when it comes to shooting machine guns or finding the artifacts themselves.)
  • Good guys can fall 50′ onto rocks and never break bones.
  • When a waterfall is involved, add a few hundred feet. No problem.
  • I did not detect the Wilhelm Scream in this movie. Amazing, considering how formulaic and predictable everything else was. Oops…according to Wikipedia, they DID use the Wilhelm Scream.
  • Didn’t they have a car chase in one of the other movies?
  • Space aliens? Are you kidding me?
  • A monkey army?
  • Gunpowder tossed in the air floating towards the box?

I give this movie 2 out of 10 stars. The first star is for the ants, which were cool. The second star is for my boys, who loved everything about this movie.

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