Damn. I received an odd letter from my doctor today. Beginning in January, he plans to reduce his patient load from a few thousand to several hundred patients. Along with this, he promises 24-hour access to his cell phone, free routine office visits, same-day care, reduced waiting time, a comprehensive annual physical, etc. All for an annual “fee” which is not in the letter.

Of course when they don’t mention a price, you know it is expensive. So I did some basic research, and now I know he is becoming a Concierge Doctor, and I imagine the price will be at least $1500 per year.

Do any of you have experience with this?

The Incredible Hulk is hollow. Discuss.

When approaching a Death Star landing bay, it usually looks like a side approach:

Unfortunately, your artificial gravity generator is broken. From your perspective, as you approach the landing bay, does it feel more like a vertical drop?

As you get closer, does your perspective immediately “flip” from the horizontal to the vertical sensation, or does it feel more like a sickening plunge over the edge of a giant roller coaster?

And how about those people working in the landing bays. For them, it seems like the bay is on the “side” of the Death Star. So I guess Death Star gravity must be machine-generated, because it always pulls “down”, rather than towards the center of the sphere.

If, like Twitter, the gravity generator fails, wouldn’t people fly towards the center of the station? For people on the top level, this is no problem. But people working in the side landing bays would fly towards the inside walls, and people on the “bottom” levels would fly toward the ceiling.

Is there zero gravity at the center of the station? (again, assuming the artificial gravity is temporarily broken)

Anyone wanting to learn more about Sketchup should definitely check out Design. Click. Build.

I spent more time than I care to admit designing this Adirondack chair in Sketchup:

I then built a prototype, which consumed an entire weekend.

Unfortunately, my chair is not remotely comfortable. Maybe I should stick to tables.

My new Scotts 20-inch Push Reel Mower arrived today, and I finished mowing the lawn about 30 minutes ago.

This mower has 271 reviews and received 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon.com. Let me make this very clear: I have never been more misled by Amazon.com reviewers. For example, check out this review:

At the same time, I didn’t want to turn lawn mowing into a huge, difficult task. After researching every model on the market, I decided I would give the Scotts 2000-20 reel mower a try. My idea of lawn mowing has completely changed. What used to be a tedious, annoying task is now pleasant and relaxing, due to the ease of use and functionality of this mower.

This is absolute horse shit. This mower is easily 100% harder to push than my Toro gas mower. It took me nearly twice as long to mow the lawn. Mowing the lawn was my most intense workout in years.

The same review goes on:

I will venture to say that it is actually JUST AS EASY TO USE A REEL MOWER AS IT IS TO USE A GAS-POWERED MODEL. There is NOTHING about a gas-powered mower than makes it easier to use, and gas-powered mowers do not save any time, espcially when you consider all the peripheral needs of owning one.

Liar, liar, pants on fire. Several things make a gas mower easier to use:

• The engine propels the mower forward
• The blade cuts through thick grass without bogging down
• They are faster
• Did I mention the engine does most of the work?

I Had Doubts…

I’ve been considering one of these mowers for at least three years now, and keep reading positive reviews like this. I waited so long to pull the trigger because I had this fear: Maybe these people are so gung-ho to save the environment, they are unable to provide unbiased, accurate reviews.

I now think I have my answer. Everything you recall about your grandfather’s old-fashioned reel mower remains true to this day. These mowers are hard to use. Damn hard.

Now What?

I paid $119 for this thing, and I still have my Toro. The truth is, I don’t know what I will do. I do plan to mow the lawn with this reel mower the next few times, simply because it provides a kick-ass workout. I need to lose weight, and what better way to get some much needed exercise?

If your lawn is small and flat, a reel mower is just fine. But my yard is 17,000 square feet, with a huge steep hill in the back. For a killer workout, this is good. But for mowing the lawn, it sucks.

The Future

I think battery-powered mowers are the future of lawn care, but current models poop out after 45 minutes to an hour. That is not quite good enough to handle my lawn. I suspect in just a few years, however, battery-powered mowers will finally become a practical alternative.

I really hate how much space my Toro consumes in the garage, and I do not like how loud it is. But until battery technology improves, gas powered mowers remain the best option for most people.

Here is an ad I saw on a web site. I captured the before and after images, as seen when you hover over the original ad:

Thank FSM they fired this second grade teacher for appearing on Howard Stern’s web site in a bikini. Can you imagine the damage to a 2nd grader visiting Howard Stern’s web site…finding his or her own teacher in a bikini?

Breaking news from our friends at CNN…

Actress Elizabeth Taylor urged voters in next week’s Democratic primaries to back Hillary Clinton’s White House run, saying in a statement released Friday that the New York senator was “not a flibbertijibbet.”

I tried looking that up, and Google suggests that maybe I meant Flibbertigibbet. I find it amusing that the Wikipedia article already mentions the CNN article about Elizabeth Taylor.

I’m still not sure how this news translates into anything meaningful…like war, education, the economy, the environment, energy policy, health care, etc. Add my stupid blog to the meaningless echo chamber, I guess. We’re doomed.

I don’t really watch news, but somehow I catch a lot of it second hand. I may listen to a news station during Opie and Anthony commercials, or read some headlines on the web. Thanks to the way they repeat the “good stuff”, I consider myself informed and up-to-date. Here is what happened in the past few days. Oddly, it’s mostly beer-related.

1. Obama said some people were bitter.
2. Hillary and McCain jumped all over that.
3. Hillary got booed for complaining about Obama’s negative attacks.
4. Hillary had a beer. And a shot. Obama mentioned the photo-op in a speech.
5. Oops…turns out Obama had a beer in some bar several months ago.
6. Some Republican Congressman called Obama “boy”, and then apologized. (was he drunk?)

I think that about covers it. I’m ready for my own beer.