Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
June 15th, 2008
There are spoilers in here, you’ve been warned. I have not read a single review, these are my opinions after seeing the movie just now.
- Every underground chamber is well lit, even at night.
- A torch is always available, as well.
- Scary looking natives have nothing better to do than hide in chamber walls waiting for intruders.
- Unlimited numbers of bad guys can never shoot Indiana Jones, regardless of how many machine guns they wield.
- Every other scene must show IJ casting the classic hat shadow.
- He finds artifacts nobody else could find for hundreds of years just by blowing away some webs and pushing on some key rocks.
- The bad guys always have operatives in far away places, always able to locate him. (They are geniuses when it comes to following and tracking Dr. Jones, but apparently complete morons when it comes to shooting machine guns or finding the artifacts themselves.)
- Good guys can fall 50′ onto rocks and never break bones.
- When a waterfall is involved, add a few hundred feet. No problem.
- I did not detect the Wilhelm Scream in this movie. Amazing, considering how formulaic and predictable everything else was. Oops…according to Wikipedia, they DID use the Wilhelm Scream.
- Didn’t they have a car chase in one of the other movies?
- Space aliens? Are you kidding me?
- A monkey army?
- Gunpowder tossed in the air floating towards the box?
I give this movie 2 out of 10 stars. The first star is for the ants, which were cool. The second star is for my boys, who loved everything about this movie.
Is it supposed to be realistic? Isn’t IJ just a fairy-tale? Like: all in all, everyone is an archeologist. %)
Really, both me and my wife liked it. She liked the most Col.Dr.Spalko’s permanent hair-do. Now we’re looking for THAT hair spray.
Damn, went to see this movie yesterday. I wish you had wrote this a day before. I really could have spent this time more productive - like playing Zelda for the third time.
Anyway I gave it 4 on IMDB. I’m leaving 2 for Superhero Movie (once it’s shown in public tv that is).
Nice review. Talk about making a movie just to make it (well, make money, that is)…
Everybody gets hung up about the Aliens - why was no-one hung up about the holy-fire and the melting of the Nazi’s in the first film? It was a fine film, in the bigger-than-real-life cinematic tradition that good celluloid hero’s live. I enjoyed it far more than the normal tepid remakes of old classics that the industry churns out.
Lol, good review. I was playing the Lego IJ game with my kids before I watched this movie, and I couldn’t help but think that it was just a promo for a computer game yet to be released. Or maybe they just used a set designer from a computer game developer…
The torches, the car chase, the bricks, the ants, the retracting stairs at the end… Maybe its just me but I couldn’t stop being distracted by it.
as a friend of mine said, the waterfalls were there just to have an excuse for an Universal Studios waterfall/splash attraction.
I was really disappointed. They ripped off Indy… it was like mocking of the whole trilogy.